ten_pin_bandit

Crisis of Faith (Revisited)

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 00:26:28 GMT

I don't think I've ever really said what I want out of life, partly because I'm afraid that verbalizing it will make it real and partly because I don't really think it fit's with the way the world sees me.

I want to be a great leader of men (slow down feminazis, you can include yourselves in this group if you can get over a man telling you what to do.) I want to be someone's husband and quite a few somebody's dad. I want a household that busts at the seams with love. I want to love my wife and play with my kids . These are the things that really matter to me.

I guess I started out with the intention of talking about religion and what's been going on in my head recently. Religion has always been a sore subject of mine. When I was three or four years old my biological father beat my mom and threatened to kill her in a church in front of a clergy man in what was supposed to be a marital counselling session. The pastor counselled her privately that she had to leave my father or he was likely to kill her. That particular instance has haunted me longer than anything I can remember. When I was between 8 and 12 I had what amounted to an adopted family, with an adopted mother, father, an adopted brother and two adopted sisters. This family was deeply religious and I went to church with them twice a week for most of four years. The father was an abusive asshole. I mean that in the most diabolic sense of the words. The mother tried on multiple occasions to leave and take the kids. She turned to the church for support and instead she was counselled to return and pray for a solutions. The dad beat her one night so badly that her lung collapsed and she ended up dying. The children (what equated to my family) were taken from him and shipped off to New Mexico. For the longest time I've had a really difficult time reconciling my feelings about these incidents.

I have to run to class I'll continue this later.

Who hears the Who?

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 04:30:18 GMT

It's me and Dylan Hears A Who waiting for my Mom to get home so I can go check out Eternal Sunshine with a good friend of mine. I haven't been to church since I was 12, maybe. I went to something that felt like church the other day. I'm not sure how to explain the emotions that I was feeling but they were mostly good. I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere.

I wrote a 3 page paper about health care in a little more than an hour today. Honestly I'm pretty proud of how it turned out. I've been afraid of writing for whatever reason but when I sit down and put my mind to it I often have words to say. I remember when I used to write everyday. The days when I felt inspired. The words dribbled out of the pen with little effort. It was like happiness manifesting itself. I'm beginning to feel that way again. Hooray for me.

I wish Morgan wouldn't stay pissed off at me for the rest of time. But that's neither here nor there.

So here it is....

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 10:28:40 GMT

Slammin' hookers until they die, drinking 500 beers and not knowing where I am when I wake up in the morning. Its a life most people can't stand to live, then again, most people aren't man enough.

Being a man is about slamming chicks in the butt and gettin' wasted on beers. Not that I get wasted on beers but it would make the slamming hookers part a little better.

So now i am going to go use some recreational ambien, and try to get some sleep. Its a mad world out there, and I'm living in it!!!

I love boys...
Boys who love girls...
Girls are pretty...
Pretty neat!

The Great "Methane Boom"

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 15:14:03 GMT

So, Billy and I left Bozeman, Montana with the plan to drive all day and stop and get a hotel room when we crossed into Wyoming. Montana is a big, flat fucking state. For the last 100 miles we didn't see anything, it was dark and we didn't see lights to horizon. When we reached Sheridan, Wyoming we stopped and pulled into town. I desperately needed a shower and would have liked very much to be out of the car for a bit. Little did we know that there has been, and I kid you not, a "Methane Boom" in Wyoming which has brought tons of workers from all over the country to Northeast Wymoing. The problem with Northeast Wyoming is that no one and I mean no one wants to live here. There are ZERO apartments for rent in the three cities surrounding our famed boom so everyone of these workers, who have come to work on these methane rigs, is camped out in a motel. Realize at the time neither Billy nor I have any idea about any of this, though I am suprised there's a natural gas boom that Billy hasn't seriously contributed to. We spent half an hour in Sheridan seeing nothing but No Vacancy signs so we decided to drive another 100 miles to the next town in hopes that we would find somewhere to sleep for the night. By the time we got to Buffalo, WY (the next rinky dink town) It was approching 10:30 pm and I was pretty tired and starting to get irritated. Surprise no rooms in Buffalo. A very nice lady at the Motel 6 explained to us that the "Methane Boom" had gobbled up all of the rooms in the three surrounding cities offered to let us sleep in their little coffee room. We decided to press on being the hard headed fools that we are. Gilette was another two hours ahead but the idea of a hot shower and a soft bed after sleeping in the teepee was more than I could resist, not to mention my internet addiction was screaming for a fix. Two hours later as we rolled into Gilette at 12:30 am local time we realized this wasn't our night and this surely wasn't going to be our city. We finally settled in Sundance, WY at 1:45 am. I took a shower and hit the bed but my head was whirling about with the days activities.

I have to go as my power is running out. In the next episode The Bunny Massacre (or how I learned stop worrying and enjoy the carnage.

Missoula Montana (550 miles from Home)

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 19:05:42 GMT

So Billy and I are off on our journey across the country. Last night we slept in a teepee in Idaho. It was super awesome. We saw a huge forest fire in Spokane. So far the country has been awesome. I'll update this at the next wi-fi hotspot.

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Fri, 30 Jun 2006 17:00:03 GMT

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Summer Reading

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 00:43:35 GMT

I managed to get through most of high school without ever completeing a summer reading assignment. Much to my own detriment. I did complete one book report in high school (someone paid me to do it for them). So I have missed out on many of the classics. I am trying to rectify the situation this summer. I have come up with my own summer reading list (below). Here is the plan. I will read each of the books listed and post a short book report here and cross post it on my myspace blog . I would greatly appreciate your comments/critiques. If anyone else is interested or has any suggestions let me know.

Catch 22
Moby Dick
Carrie
Great short works of Stephen Crane
Inferno #1: The Divine Comedy: Volume 1: Hell
Four Huts: Asian Writings on the Simple Life
Canterbury Tales (Everyman's Library)
Don Quixote of La Mancha
The Origin of Species (Mentor)
A distant mirror :the calamitous 14th century
Kaffir Boy: The True Story of a Black Youth's Coming of Age in Aparthe
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (Dover Thrift Editions)
The Color Purple
The Phantom Tollbooth
The Blind Watchmaker

Fri, 19 May 2006 03:42:03 GMT

the Shock Jock
(71% dark, 57% spontaneous, 47% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARK

Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also
sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this
world. You probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead.

Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things
trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Howard Stern - Adam Sandler - Roseanne Barr

The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -

Drinking games

Sun, 14 May 2006 00:08:29 GMT

if i drank
i'd drink
and be the world's best drunk
i'd drown fear
fight shame
fuck sorrow
gamble with pain
and i'd drink that little fucker screaming "don't!" under the table

Christ vs. Porn

Fri, 12 May 2006 07:18:39 GMT

Picture 2, originally uploaded by The Ten Pin Bandit.

Porn in red Christ in blue.
Google Trends

Christ getting smoked by anal in many cities.

Thu, 11 May 2006 22:38:10 GMT

Picture 1, originally uploaded by The Ten Pin Bandit.

Google Trends is awesome. These are the results for Christ in the blue trunks and anal in the red trunks.

restless sleep

Tue, 09 May 2006 18:42:30 GMT

the weather is just what the weather is
I float through the sea of discontent
thick rimmed glasses help ME see
things right with the world
cashmere cardigan hide ME
from all that threatens to make ME what I'm not
I long to sing, I long to dance
to be as free as those who came before
they teach ME how to speak
can they teach ME how to understand
communications break down behind these cold steel bars
self-inflicted cages
mine is the spirit that yearns four connection
I do what I do to feel alive
that jagged pulse in MY veins is proof that I haven't lost the war
I sleepwalk to the battlefield
the hypnotist has no idea what kind of MONSTER he has created
dreams explode
the battle cry awakens sleeping giants
the shock of decades of shameless naked marching
an inspiration to one is an inspiration to millions
truly great deeds once again go unspoken
I feel the pain as the pillows collapse around ME
another radon sunset puts me to bed
this hodge podge quilt keeps me warm
sleep MY restless sleep

Genius

Mon, 08 May 2006 05:18:39 GMT